29. Woman is the Possibility of a World Unseen


Blog 29: Dec. 1997-April 1998—The secondhand of the clock moves slowly here in the lowlands of Oakland, California. Everything is an effort: walking around the block, determined to walk again; going swimming at the YMCA; shopping; cooking.

When I go to the YMCA, I watch another woman who’s there every time, grabbing onto the low wall, painfully taking baby steps, just so she can make it to the pool. I feel compassion, and sudden gratitude for both her courage to keep going, and my capacity to have the little bit of movement I do in my legs.

When I’m done with my errands, I come back home and write my novel and articles, or I write in my journal or rest. As I reflect on where I’ve been, I realize how much I’ve survived almost 29 years of my life by pushing forward, always aiming to become someone important, driven by the outside world pushing, pulling me to be like a man, to ac8ad5b614f115dc88306f61fdd830057dcomplish, conquer, prove. Yet, here I am, having injured myself, and this pushing, this masculine way, hurting me.

I sit with who I am as a woman, inside a feminine energy that calls for another way. A woman is the possibility of a world unseen,” I write in my journal. “She is the invisible that manifests when all else has forgotten how to be. Woman is the power of all that is new in the world.

“The days of moon come and go in a woman’s body. They bring her rage and a kind of roundness that woman understands—a roundness that extends outward and inward at the same time,” I continue to write. “No one truly owns her. This roundness has no measurement, no length, no beginning, nor end. She learns, however, in the fragile skelet11366228434_971ff72196_mon of her body that once imprisoned her, that she must wait. Her fertility, in all its power, must wait for dusk before it can reveal itself.

“While there is this unbelievable surge in her belly, this
child, with features invisible to the world, will not be born to impulse again—to a preeminent death tomorrow. This child is her love, her understanding that grows flowers in her belly. She must first ride this current of self love before this river can meet the sea.”


Check out my novel, Child of Duende: A Journey of the Spirit, at  Novel Link!

2 thoughts on “29. Woman is the Possibility of a World Unseen

  1. I met a woman in my second week of Albuquerque who brought out from within intense attraction, desire, and love; despire being nearly 30 years older than I. Over the course of several months of our association, she taught me through experience a lot: a way to be that wasn’t about setting goals, about speaking to drive the conversation; about sitting still and allowing the feelings to immerse into you; about the qualities of love we can give ourselves; and about Listening while being still and hearing more than the words of the other. Such was the introduction to the Feminine ways that exists within all of us, regardless of our biological gender.

    I was attracted to her, and the feelings were not mutual, because it is hard for a teacher to feel that kind of love for a student, especially a student who has put themselves very low in relativity to the teacher.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for sharing, Peter. I agree that the feminine ways are for all of us to learn…women as well. So many of us, or at least I can speak for myself, were raised with cultures that place great value on masculine traits and reward for that, but have neglected to honor and teach the feminine strengths that we all need to live sustainably on the earth.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s